In the Name of the King

Farmer (Jason Statham), a tough guy who’s not much with words but is a whiz with a boomerang, searches for his kidnapped wife (Claire Forlani) while trying to avenge the death of his son. This involves taking on an evil sorcerer (Ray Liotta), his army of hideous beasts (called Krugs) and the king’s deceitful nephew (Matthew Lillard), all while showing his devotion to the king himself (Burt Reynolds). Also, feisty Mariella (Leelee Sobieski) just wants a chance to fight, Elora (Kristanna Lokken) leads the tree people and a bunch of ninjas jump into the action when they feel like it.

Big question: Have the movie gods really delivered an action-adventure with these has-been actors, directed by Uwe Boll (“Alone in the Dark”) and based on a video game?

Skip it: Don’t expect the film to answer simple questions like, “When and where is this taking place?” or, “Why do characters suddenly appear in random places?” or, “What the devil is everybody talking about”? Bad but not funny-bad, “In the Name of the King” is worse than a high school production of “Lord of the Rings” and as incoherent as a Miss Teen USA contestant.

Catch it: If you’re creeped out by the monstrous Orcs in “Rings.” Here, the Krug costumes look like they were either purchased at Toys ‘R Us or cobbled together with mud and leaves from the forest just before someone called, “Action.”

Bottom line: Every character has a different accent because the British and American actors use their real voices, allowing them to do only what they know: Statham grumbles, Reynolds mumbles, Liotta screams and Lillard cackles. Fortunately, Forlani has a tender moment crying over her child, and a flaming Krug catapulted into a tree is, at least, something you don’t see everyday.

Bonus: The king advises his nephew that, “drinking wine in the morning is not a good way to show reform.” Doesn’t everybody know that Jack-and-Coke is the truly classy drink to have with breakfast!

mpais@tribune.com

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