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With her husband (Ted Danson) out of work and their family $286,000 in debt, Bridget (Diane Keaton) becomes a janitor at the Federal Reserve Bank and steals oodles of soon-to-be destroyed cash. Her co-workers and accomplices are single-mom Nina (Queen Latifah) and ditzy Jackie (Katie Holmes, finally playing the space case that she seems to be).

Big question: Can this unlikely trio and director Callie Khouri ("Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood") capture the innocence and thrill of a seemingly victimless crime?

Skip it: Only constant Starbucks runs could explain why Keaton is so much louder than necessary in yet another excruciating performance. (Remember "Because I Said So"? We hope not.) Danson's doubtful husband is the lone bright spot in a film that's the worst kind of bad: emotionally hollow, morally vague and duller than a tax return.

Catch it: If you find it appropriate for Bridget to unironically compare one day of hard work to third-world slave labor. Very tasteful!

Bottom line: "Mad Money" belongs in the shredder, delivering no comic bounciness, law-breaking glee or the tempting scent of freshly minted cash. Which isn't to say the movie doesn't give off an odor.

Bonus: Bridget does discover one important lesson. If an employer asks you to take a drug test, they're not actually instructing you to take drugs!

mpais@tribune.com

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