Quotes:
"MAN, I'M A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE, I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG."— New Orleans Hornets player Rasual Butler (pictured), who was arrested outside Mansion in
Miami Beach after police received a call about a man pointing a gun at people
"THERE ARE SOME PRETTY BAD REACTIONS — RASHES EXACTLY IN THE SHAPE OF THE DESIGN THAT WAS APPLIED."— Juan Suarez, regional environmental epidemiologist for the
Miami-Dade County Health Department, on "suitcase-henna artists" who peddle fake henna that can result in permanent skin damage
"KOBE, NIGGA, TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES."—
Shaquille O'Neal, freestyling at a
New York nightclub about
Kobe Bryant's inability to win a championship without him
"I'M FED UP WITH TALK ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER GAME. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY, BLOODY NOTHING WRONG WITH HER. SHE'S A MULTIMILLIONAIRE AT AGE 20. HOW BAD CAN THINGS BE?"— Martin Hall, swing coach for
Boca Raton golfer Morgan Pressel
Jackasses of the weekIn another predictable biting-the-hand that feeds you move,
the city of Miami Beach is joining with
Fort Lauderdale in lashing out at events that anyone less than 65 years old would enjoy. While Fort Lauderdale put the leash on a tentative concert that would replace the Air and Sea Show (commissioners wanted
Barbra Streisand, not music from this millennium), Miami Beach is starting to crack down on noise violations. The city passed a compromise with aging, cranky residents and lowered the number of warnings needed — from three to one — before fines of $250 are handed out. And if a venue keeps pumping out music and gathers four violations in a single year, the city will revoke the c lub's right to play music for a weekend. While the city has been lax on cracking down on code violations to date, the coalition of the wrinkled and wealthy are now dead-set on ruining the fun for cash-strapped promoters and party people. Enough, we say! Without the c lubs, we'll lose 90 percent of our Jackass of the Week candidates!
Bloggers take on:Miami Beach's infamous brothel bus
"Leave it to the entrepreneurs on
Miami Beach to come up with this gem. [Co-blogger Thomas] Lackner and I had been throwing this idea around for months. Instead of perusing the beach, however, we felt the profits would be higher in downtown. So we lackadaisically began searching for our whore-mobile with something pretty specific in mind. It had to be hot-pink (or sun-baked red), with matching velvet interior, mini disco ball and no working AC. Why no AC? We prefer our bitches sweating and stanking and so do the MySpace babies in downtown. Anyhow, after searching for months and not finding what we wanted, we had to shut the project down."
— Miaminights.com "Just when you thought Lincoln Road's Chabad bus synagogue-on-wheels was quaint, another bus comes along that gives a whole new meaning to local culture — and by culture I don't mean the seat stains on the 25-cent South Beach local! Nope, if you've seen that big-ass limo bus tooling around town, you've spotted a movable feast that would put Hemingway's debauchery to shame. … In an unconfirmed report, one male tourist arrested for soliciting prostitution on the bus claimed he was confused by false advertising. "Me no speak English. Me thought it was Duck Tour!
D-U-C-K. Duck like
quack,
quack, yes?"
— Sexandthebeach.blogspot.com
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