Danation: The Kyle Syndrome

Symptoms include narcissism, political naiveté and a temporary leave of one's senses.

By Dan Sweeney

May 7, 2008

Danation: The Kyle Syndrome
The Stephanie Miller Show, the morning show syndicated on local liberal talk-radio station WINZ-AM (940), boasts a recurring character named "Kyle," voiced by Miller's sidekick Jim Ward. Kyle, a prissy, geeky-voiced Hillary Clinton supporter, threatens gloom and doom upon the Democratic Party if Clinton isn't nominated, saying he will vote for McCain to punish the party. The joke, of course, is that anyone could have such a distended, overripe ego that he would expect a political party to kowtow to his wishes, regardless of the party's nominee having legitimately gained the most delegates.

But nationwide, Kyle is a very real problem. In various polls conducted throughout March and early April, about a fifth of all Clinton supporters say they would not vote for Barack Obama in the general election; a slightly smaller but still significant amount of Obama supporters say the same thing about Clinton. And here in Florida, the Kyle Syndrome is more powerful than in most areas, fed by the sense that our votes have been stolen away by the state's decision to hold an early primary against party rules, and that Obama is somehow to blame for the situation in which we now find ourselves. We hear the words "If Clinton loses, I'm voting for McCain" or some variation on that theme almost ubiquitously; it is overheard in smoky bars, among co-workers in office elevators and at the next table at The Olive Garden down the street, leaving Obama supporters and hardcore Democrats gasping and red-faced, exasperated at the very notion. But the trend cannot be denied. In the most-recent general election poll of the state, a May 1 poll from Quinnipiac University, Clinton beats McCain 49-41, while Obama loses 44-43. That represents one of the widest margins between the two candidates in any state for which there is recent polling — a nine-point Kyle gap.

The notion, at first blush, seems to defy any sort of common sense. Here we have two candidates — Clinton and Obama — who are remarkably similar on nearly all the major issues of the day, from health care to Iraq to the economy and so on. On the other hand, we have a candidate who represents everything dumb and mean in the American character — more war, more deregulation, more domestic surveillance, more piggish profits for the wealthiest few while the rest of us lap crumbs off the floor. Why, then, would a supporter of one of the first two candidates cast aside the other and go for the third? Looked at from a purely policy-oriented point of view, it does not compute.

But let me tell you, ace, they are out there, and they are angry. Last week, a group of about 150 Floridians protested outside the Washington, D.C., headquarters of the Democratic National Committee. According to NBC's report on the protest, despite buttons, T-shirts and other gear that included the names of many Democratic candidates, even some who have since dropped out of the race, nearly all the people at the protest were Clinton supporters. And this was a week after Clinton supporters held count-our-vote rallies in cities across Florida. But the outraged cries that votes weren't counted or that voters were disenfranchised are misinformed. This is a primary election. You obey the rules of the party or there are consequences. Every single person now bleating that their voice has not been heard did, in fact, cast a vote Jan. 29. They were not disenfranchised, and they'll still be able to vote in November. You don't have to like our system — don't get me started on the stupidity of the two-party system, or I'll swing into a long, wonky diatribe about the need for proportional representation — but you do have to accept that you are living within it. The irony is that if these Clinton supporters wanted to blame someone, it shouldn't be Obama, but the very Florida politicians who are now speaking out at their rallies. It wasn't Obama who moved Florida's voting date to Jan. 29, it was our state Legislature, Democrat and Republican alike.

So why the nine-point Kyle gap in Florida? I've talked to a lot of people about it, and they cite the usual reasons, from bitter, blue-collar workers angry over Obama calling them bitter to flag-sucking morons who demand that Obama wear a flag lapel pin and dupes who believe every word sent to them in forwarded e-mails and worry about Obama being a Muslim.

But the No. 1 reason given is the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the pastor Obama tossed under the bus last week after tolerating the man's lunacy for some 20 years. The obvious retort is that, if you really want God to damn America, you'll elect McCain so we can keep blowing people up halfway around the world. But a more-serious answer would be to ask these people why they were Clinton supporters. Because whether your pet cause is reproductive rights, health care for all Americans or getting us the hell out of Iraq, like, yesterday, you have a much better chance of seeing those causes supported under an Obama presidency.

Despite the oft-noted age difference between Clinton and Obama supporters, it's almost as if this is the first election the Clinton crowd has ever seen. They seem aghast at the prospect that their girl, righteous a candidate as she may have been, will never again see the inside of the White House. Well, sweet fucking Jesus, welcome to politics. To paraphrase a line often used by Hillary's husband, "In the primaries, you get to fall in love. In the general election, you fall in line."

Are you better off than you were eight years ago? Had enough of people returning from Iraq minus an appendage or three? Perhaps the sign that the DNC people hung in their window to greet the protesters from Florida last week said it best: "John McCain = 3rd Bush term." McCain is Bush, Bush McCain — that is all ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.

Send prissy, geeky-voiced rebuttals to Dan Sweeney at dfsweeney@citylinkmagazine.com.

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