(Credit: Michael Becker/FOX )
Few actual contenders for the "Idol" title emerged from the initial rounds in Philadelphia and Dallas, so here's a quick recap of the best of the worst…
Milo Turk
The first of three contestants who sang creepy songs of their own creation, Milo's was called "No Sex Allowed"—a cautionary tune about holding on to love and abstinence. It may have been sweet coming from, say, a doe-eyed, 16-year-old bible studies leader, but Milo looks like an IT guy dressed up as Fred Flintstone at a Renaissance Fair. Noble intentions gone terribly awry.
James Lewis
His rendition of "Go Down Moses" spurred Ryan to dub it the show's biggest stinker ever. The worst audition in "Idol" history? We thinks not. Religious tunes and the baritone-deaf are always a recipe for disaster, but none of this seasons' stinkers have come close the audio car wrecks of years past.
Alexis Cohen
Nothing is more fun than seeing the contestants who get a kind dismissal from the judges and then pitch the biggest fits once they're out of the room. If Simon deserved all of Alexis' crude lambasting and gesturing, they certainly didn't show us why.
Paul Marturano
Paul sang a pun and innuendo-filled song about stalking Paula. You can have her, buddy.
The Princess Leias (yes, plural)
One was a dude, the other a girl. One waxed his chest, the other waxed indignant when her alarming performance earned her the snub. Neither deserved any sympathy.
Renaldo Lapuz
Just like the object of Vanessa Williams' early-'90s affection, "Idol" really saved the best for last this week. Renaldo, dressed as one might expect Snoop Dogg to look in heaven, sang "Brothers Forever" to his brother (forever), Simon Cowell. The ink will be dry on that record contract by the end of the day.
That's it for this week, kids. Check back next Thursday for continued coverage of that beautiful golden cow called "American Idol."
